A Valiant Woman (Proverbs 31)

“I hate the Proverbs 31 Woman,” said my friend. “She makes me feel like such a loser. I will never measure up to her standard. I don’t even like reading those verses because they make me depressed.”

Why talk about this woman if she’s so unattainable?

I believe God included Proverbs 31:10-31 in the Bible to give us a godly superhero to esteem and emulate and to help us pray for and honor the valiant women in our lives.

The Proverbs 31 woman is 1) valiant and valuable, 2) faithful and loving, 3) hardworking and creative, 4) enterprising and generous, 5) strong and wise, and 6) honored and praised.

1. Valiant & Valuable

Why is this woman “valiant?” Proverbs 31:10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” The word translated “noble character” in the NIV, is translated “excellent” in the ESV and “virtuous” in the KJV. In the original Hebrew, the word is chayil, “strong and valiant,” a “warrior.” This strong woman fights battles and wins. She is valiant and highly valuable.

Deborah in the Bible was a valiant woman—a prophet and judge who spoke God’s words to Israel’s army commander and led the people into battle and victory (Judges 4-5). Like the valiant woman in Proverbs 31 who was worth far more than rubies, Deborah was of great worth to her people as she stood up to lead when no one else would. She rose up as a mother in Israel and inspired courage in her people to fight their battles.

A valiant woman today leads with courage like Deborah. She perseveres in loving her children and leading them to be like Jesus even when it’s hard. She fights battles against discouragement and despair in herself and others. She inspires others to join her in seeking God and standing against evil.

She may not make hundreds of thousands of dollars in salary, but she is priceless to her family and those she serves. She is irreplaceable because God has uniquely gifted her for the things He has called her to do.

2. Faithful and Loving

The valiant woman in Proverbs 31 is also unfailingly good to her husband. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:11-12) She is trustworthy and cares for his needs. She doesn’t harm him in any way – physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.

Priscilla in Acts 18 traveled with her husband Aquila on Paul’s missionary journey to Ephesus. She and Aquila instructed people in the teachings of Jesus. They risked their lives for Paul and many others, and they hosted a church in their house. They were a team, loving and serving people together. To do this, Priscilla must have been someone who inspired confidence in her husband Aquila, and who did good do him.

A busy mom admired her husband for his many qualities but took them for granted and rarely mentioned them. She also felt critical of his shortcomings and often pointed them out, even in front of her children.

While praying about her children’s increasingly disrespectful attitudes to their father, she realized that her negativity was poisoning her children toward him. To combat this, she started praising her husband in front of the kids.

When he fixed something around the house, she said “I’m so thankful for your dad. He’s so good at fixing things!” When he helped clean up in the kitchen, she said, “Your dad is such a good helper. I’m so thankful for his helpfulness!”

After a while, she noticed the children’s attitude changing toward their father. They began to be more respectful and grateful to him.

A valiant woman chooses to be faithful to her husband and to always do good to him. She loves him and blesses him every day.

3. Hardworking & Creative

Proverbs 31’s valiant woman is also hardworking and creative. She works hard to make, buy, or order food and supplies for her family. She sews and makes crafts and household items if she’s gifted in those areas, and even if she isn’t, she makes sure her family is dressed appropriately for all weather (v. 13-14 19, 21-22).

She gets up in the night to care for her sick children or pets, and she makes sure everyone feels loved and has what they need (v. 15).

She takes time to exercise and strengthen her body so she can be healthy and strong for her tasks (v. 17).

She knows where everyone in her family is and what they are doing, and she doesn’t sit around gossiping or rotting her mind with empty shows or addictive games (v. 27).

Ruth in the Bible was hard-working and creative. When her father-in-law and husband died in Moab, she and her mother-in-law Naomi returned, penniless, to Naomi’s hometown in Israel.

Ruth devised a creative solution to their poverty. She asked Naomi if she could glean in a field behind the workers, as was permitted for needy people.

Boaz, the wealthy owner of the field, asked about her. His foreman said she was Naomi’s daughter-in-law and had been working hard in the field all day, except for a short break.

In Ruth 3, Boaz says to her, “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character” (v. 11).

As in Proverbs 31:10, “noble character” is chayil in Hebrew. Ruth, too, is called a valiant woman!

A valiant woman works diligently, often with little thanks and no tangible rewards. She looks for creative solutions to problems and takes time for creative hobbies that refresh and invigorate her.

4. Enterprising & Generous

The valiant Proverbs 31 woman is also enterprising and generous. She thinks of ways to use her time and abilities to earn extra money to both bless her family and benefit others. She gets excited about her hobby-turned-work and stays up late just for the joy of working on it. Some of her work generates money even at night when she is sleeping (v. 16, 18, 24).

In all this, she is kind and generous. “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy” (v. 20). She welcomes the neighbor kids into her home and gives them love and cookies. She stretches the food to include guests at a meal. She brings groceries to a shut-in or blesses her needy neighbor with an anonymous gift of cash. She volunteers with the homeless or prepares gift bags for girls who have been released from trafficking.

Dorcas was always doing good and helping the poor (Acts 9). When she became sick and died, the disciples called urgently for Peter to come. When he arrived at the room where her body lay, the widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them (v. 39). Peter prayed and God brought Dorcas back to life. Then Dorcas continued to use her talent for sewing to help the poor widows.

Valiant women are enterprising and generous. They seek to both save and serve.

5. Strong and Wise

A valiant woman is also strong and wise. ^“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (v. 25-26).

When she feels weak and inadequate, she chooses to trust God for strength and purpose. When she lacks poise and composure, she asks God to hold her head high in dignity as His beautiful daughter.

Just as she takes time for regular meals, she spends time reading and thinking about God’s Word each day so she has wisdom from God to speak to her children and all those around her.

Abigail in 1 Samuel 25 showed much strength and wisdom. Her husband Nabal (whose name means “fool”) did not repay David for the protection and services David rendered him, so David was furious and planned to destroy Nabal and all his men.

When Abigail heard this, she wisely gathered large quantities of food for David and all those with him. She begged David to not act rashly in attacking Nabal’s men and property.

David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands” (1 Sam. 25:32-33).

A valiant woman’s strength and dignity come from her trust in God. She chooses not to worry because she knows God will take care of her and her family and his plans for them are good. And when she opens her mouth, what comes out is perfume, not poison, because she saturates her mind in God’s Word.

6. Honored and Praised

God invites us to honor and praise the valiant women in our lives.

A valiant woman’s children, rather than sitting around and complaining, should rise up and bless her with their words and with their willing help around the house (v. 28a).

Her husband shouldn’t take her for granted or highlight her faults. Instead, he should constantly praise her, telling her that she is the best possible wife and mother for their family and that he admires her above any other woman (v. 28b-29).

Her attractiveness is not based on empty charm or on physical beauty that shrivels with age, but rather on her depth of character and love for God. She deserves praise for her internal beauty that will never fade.

Not only should her family honor her, but other leaders should also praise her for what she does (v. 31).

When Mary of Bethany chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to Him, He praised her in front of his disciples and her angry sister Martha (Luke 10). He also praised her for pouring out her life’s savings on His feet in the form of an incredibly expensive perfume (John 12). He publicly honored Mary for her devotion to Him as Her Savior and Lord, even when others didn’t see the value in what she was doing.

Rather than feeling discouraged by the impossible perfection of the valiant Proverbs 31 woman, we can take time to honor and praise a woman in our life who demonstrates at least some of these characteristics.

I encourage you to take time today to bless at least one woman for her love, sacrifice, and impact on your life (see instructions below). Honor and praise her for being 1) valiant and valuable, 2) faithful and loving, 3) hardworking and creative, 4) enterprising and generous, and 5) strong and wise!

Think of a woman whom you love and would like to honor. Write a note of thanks and praise to her using the prompts below.

1. Valiant & Valuable

In what ways does she stand up and valiantly lead?
How does she add value to your life and others’ lives?
Write your thanks for how she is valiant and valuable, giving specific examples.

2. Faithful & Loving

How does she inspire confidence in you? How has she been faithful in loving or serving?
How does she bring good and not harm?
Write your thanks for how she is faithful and loving, giving specific examples.

3. Hardworking & Creative

What does she work hard at doing?
How is she creative? What are her hobbies?
Write your thanks for how she is hard-working and creative, giving specific examples.

4. Enterprising & Generous

How does she seek to make or save money?
How has she been generous to people?
Write your thanks for how she is enterprising and generous, giving specific examples.

5. Strong & Wise